So, I'm driving down the road today, praying about making a difference in someone's life. Especially my kids' lives. I got to thinking the other day, "What if I died tonight; would my kids remember me when they grew up? Did I make that much of a difference in their little lives to impact their hearts and souls? Or, would they just remember the yelling and correction? How much of the "mothering" that I do every single day really matters to eternity?" I KNOW for a fact that I lean towards the 'stern' side of motherhood, rather than the 'nonchalant' side that allows anything to slide by. And, you know what? Sometimes, I'm just too dang hard on my kids. There's no other way to say it. In my defense, though, my intentions are honorable.
I want them to learn that it's bedtime when I say it's bedtime. It's NOT the time to be asking for "one more drink", so the answer is "NO" to their drink request!
"READ!" I tell my daughter, when she's lingering too long on a page during her nightly reading, because I know it's bedtime and she's going to be tired in the morning.
"WHO SPILLED THESE CRUMBS ON THE FLOOR WHEN I JUST SWEPT TODAY?!?" I want them to learn to respect other people's property and pick up after their messes.
And on and on and on it goes...
But, I have to stop and ask myself, "What does one more drink hurt?" "Why am I rushing my daughter through reading a book and not relishing every moment?" "Are the crumbs on the floor really the end of the world?" "Wouldn't I miss them if they weren't there every day to remind me of WHO put them there?"
My God, help me to look past the daily grime of everyday life and learn to appreciate and savor each and every moment. Because there may be a moment when it's all gone. Life is as a vapor, the scripture says. And, I've heard WAY too many elderly people say to treasure every day because they fly by. I don't know what my tomorrow holds, but I know that I can appreciate my TODAY and cherish every minute. Instead of staying frustrated.
Won't my kids enjoy being around Mom more if I'm not constantly correcting? Do they REALLY need THAT much guidance or am I just being too hard? There is a fine line, for sure, but I'm gonna try not to cross it near as much anymore. I've got to allow my kids to be...kids. Yes, they are K.I.D.S. So, they're gonna act like kids. I don't really want them to grow up too fast anyway, right?
Now, most of you reading this know me well enough to know, I believe in balance of all things. I realize kids have to have constant guidance and blah, blah, blah. That's not what I'm talking about here, so don't go reporting me to Dr. Ezzo just yet. Sin needs disciplined...being curious does not, necessarily.
My whole point is this, am I making a viable difference in my kid's lives? Have I instilled enough values and teachings in them to keep them on the 'narrow way' if something should happen to me? Have I prayed enough for their futures? Do I read enough scripture to them? Do we talk about Jesus enough? Can they tell you all about the Bible Stories or tell you more about the movie they just watched?
Mothers, and Parents, in general have an enormous responsibility to their children! And, I want to take my responsibility seriously. God is clearly talking to my heart tonight and maybe to some of you, too. Our kids are all we have to invest in to better the future of our world. If we don't take the time for them, someone else will. God, help me to fill them with good things from You, Godly things, so there is no room for the negative things of this world. Help us as parents to have the wisdom that only comes from You to successfully "train up our children in the way they should go. That when they are old, they will not depart from it."
So, tomorrow is a new day. New mercies...new Mommy. I know I'll fall off the wagon, again, but at least the wagon is going in the right direction at last.
Now, excuse me, while I go pray over my babies as they sleep tonight...
